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    Submit some stuff

    While I won’t prohibit the submission of anything you want in the name of comedy, try to achieve nirvana in one of the following ways:
    1. Submit an excuse for why you didn’t turn in your homework.
    2. Submit an excuse for why you were late to something or weren’t there.
    3. Submit an embarrassing way you could die.
    4. Submit a reason you missed an important phone call.
    5. Submit an item you wouldn’t want to win on a game show or receive as a gift.

    Failing any of those five, the backup option is as follows:
    6. Submit something which has the potential to be tailored into one of the above items.

    The final guideline is merely a reminder that this is ultimately a comedy publication, and that lame excuses that are pedestrian and legitimate… are not likely to be published. That is all, carry on.