Excuses

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This is the tumblr home of Excuses, a humor publication I've done off and on for over 12 years. If you want the old editions of excuses, visit this page on my real website. Your ongoing mission: submit content that could be used for Excuses. Go look at the old ones to see what you're up against.

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    Wood Revisited by Gabrielle Wee. Powered by Tumblr.
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    1. »
      28 March 2011 · 12:57 AM ·
      Edition 26, Only 5 weeks after Edition 25

      This one was written by Associate Editor and Squirrel Herder, Rebecca. Now, at some point I’ll have to do Edition 27, which will be that infamous 100th edition of Excuses I’ve been on about for some time. Then I’ll probably quit doing Excuses for a while, as is my wont to do. Besides, I can’t actually do the 30 as advertised. I’ve never finished a series yet, why start now?

      Excuses V

    2. »
      21 February 2011 · 09:17 AM ·
      Edition 25, Recovering from a bout of insanity

      I’ve taken on one project too many for the time being, but there’s only 5 more editions of this joyride to go so I figure staying the course will be manageable. Oh, and having a staff (sort of) helps too.

      Excuses V

    3. »
      07 February 2011 · 12:00 AM ·
      Edition 24, Someone remind me why I still do this?

      Ahh, back to Mondays; this feels better. If I hurry and make this description short I might be able to squeeze it in before the clock strikes twelve. Then again, I know Tumblr is just going to gnaw on it for several hours anyhow, so what’s the point. I’ll just publish it by hand. By the way, I’ll be starting a radio show soon, so that’s exciting news. Think Dr. Demento, only… not as good.

      Excuses V

    4. »
      28 January 2011 · 12:00 AM ·
      Edition 23, Kid tested, Mother (quite nearly) approved

      Note to self: quit skirting deadlines. Other note to self: quit leaving the paper with the good ideas on it at work. Other than that, it’s more of the same, and thank goodness we’re at 23 editions, because keeping up the energy to get to 30 is a whole heck of a lot harder than I remembered it being. Then again, that might explain why I’ve never made it to 30 before. I think we’ll make it this time. I’ve got that glorious unpaid staff that I keep alluding to. I’ll have to introduce them all some time.

      Excuses V

    5. »
      20 January 2011 · 12:00 AM ·
      Edition 22, And now for something completely the same

      Just like the other 94, not counting the inevitable evolution that 13 years of slinging this slop together will do to a person. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish my Twinkie-Weiner sandwich.

      Excuses V

    6. »
      14 January 2011 · 12:02 AM ·
      Edition 21, The hits keep on coming

      It’s clean, it’s cheap, it’s safe, it’s nuclear power! Alright, I’m not Harry Shearer, but if I were, I wouldn’t be writing this silly thing, I’d just cash a Simpsons check and be able to live off that for about 5 years.

      Excuses V

    7. »
      03 January 2011 · 12:08 AM ·
      Edition 20, Recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists

      Back to the mines. Hope you all had a great holiday, and I apologize for the awful that was Edition 19. Fruitcake is cliché. I get it.

      Excuses V

    8. »
      21 December 2010 · 12:02 AM ·
      Edition 19, No... more... fruitcake.

      I’m so sick of writing about fruitcake, you have no idea.

      We’re taking a week off for the holidays, and will be back with another edition of Excuses on 1/3/2011. Happy new year, loyal readers!

      Excuses V